Cock to his Dual Bawls

UchikomaPlatinum: My sis said bring a pillow
oczPeter: K
UchikomaPlatinum: I say bring some lube
oczPeter: I say I bring my cock
UchikomaPlatinum: Touche...
oczPeter: [AWAY] __/\____\o/____
oczPeter: OMFG SHARK ATTACK!
UchikomaPlatinum: How do you survive all the shark attacks?
oczPeter: Beat them down with my cock
UchikomaPlatinum: Oh
UchikomaPlatinum: Kay
UchikomaPlatinum: Uh
oczPeter: Oh wait, those are cougars, not sharks
UchikomaPlatinum: LoL
oczPeter: Sharks I shoot in the eye
oczPeter: ...with my cock
UchikomaPlatinum: You're on a roll today
oczPeter: Next question!

Cereal....I think....

Amy: i cant fucking sleep
Peter: um, glass of warm milk?
Amy: yeah cause I have such a stock of groceries
Peter: bah, how are you supposed to eat cereal without milk?
Peter: dry only goes so far
Peter: at some point it starts to chafe
Peter: your throat
Amy: I dont even have cereal lol
Peter: oh, we're still talking about cereal?

Meeting

VP Ops: So what components are included in the laptop package?
Me: I have it still in the box, actually. We can whip it out.
VP Ops: Whoa! Peter's gonna whip it out!
*I come in with the box*
VP Purchasing: And he's got a big package too!
Me: Damn straight.

/teabag

Section_9_Browncoat: This saturday
Section_9_Browncoat: Ernests at like 9, 10
Section_9_Browncoat: I have a dinner at 730
peter.gamboa: works for me
Section_9_Browncoat: Then will go there
peter.gamboa: kk
peter.gamboa: you gonna dance?
peter.gamboa: :D
Section_9_Browncoat: LoL wtf
Section_9_Browncoat: Are you asking for seconds?
peter.gamboa: work it harder, make it better
Section_9_Browncoat: Do it faster, tea it bagger
peter.gamboa: ...
peter.gamboa: D
peter.gamboa: I
peter.gamboa: A
peter.gamboa: F
wow.aonarach: he sounds angry
wow.aonarach: is he angry?
wow.aonarach: why for he angry?
peter.gamboa: getting teabagged by a little filipino man would make
anyone angry

Test Drive

Katy: Choose your size with Megadik!
Peter: ...
Peter: can i buy TightenVag instead?
Peter: size being relative, and all....
Katy: stop sleeping with sluts?
Peter: see, it's a catch-22
Peter: sluts are slutty, innocent girls don't put out...and when they do, they transition to slut
Peter: you can't win!
Peter: i protest the system!!!
Katy: once it gets too used, trade it up for a fresher model
Peter: leasing > buying used?
Katy: yep
Peter: i think i want the leather upgrade and power steering options next time
Katy: make sure you specify that on your order
Katy: they always fuck it up if you aren't specific
Peter: i'd need a test drive first, of course
Katy: i think they'll let you do that
Katy: as long as you don't overuse the merchandise
Peter: you can't really tell how well it handles without hitting some curves
Katy: you'd have to take that up with the salespeople
Katy: some of them will let you ride it a little harder
Peter: i'm not talking totally bang it up
Peter: just....push it a bit
Katy: obviously you'd have to make sure you found the right one for you
Katy: gotta make sure you have plenty of room, or not, as the case may be
Peter: trunk space can be important
Peter: altho i'm more interested in the headlights
Peter: safety first, and all that jazz
Katy: of course
Peter: and of course standard maintenance, don't want any oil leaks and such
Peter: ....PS: we are such dorks
Peter: <3
Katy: we really are
Katy: <3

/silly

oczPeter: Diaf
UchikomaPlatinum: Um
UchikomaPlatinum: Why?
oczPeter: Auto Response from Amy (11:11 PM):
oczPeter: afk briefly. too busy giggling at the picture of nathan
teabagging peter. :X
UchikomaPlatinum: Lmfao
oczPeter: Diaf
UchikomaPlatinum: You ever feel like you're not in charge of your own
destiny?
UchikomaPlatinum: Like you're being teabagged by a Filipino man?
oczPeter: I hate you
oczPeter: So
oczPeter: Much