Teach, not Make

Peter: Teach her how to be a woman.
Nathan: I think you mean "make."
Peter: No teach her. Show her how to pick out bras. Explain to her about her period.
Nathan: What the fuck...

Meth Part 2

[12:46] Kat: gonna go drop off something
[12:46] Kat: i'll ttyl@
[12:47] Kat: byee! :)
[12:47] Kat: :)
[12:47] uchikomaplatinum: later
[12:47] Kat: wheee..smileys :)
[12:47] Kat: haha
[12:47] Kat: ;D
[12:47] Kat: :D
[12:47] System Message: Kat is offline

NOT NORMAL

Peter: cleaner:
Paranoid 10%
Schizoid 58%
Schizotypal 66%
Antisocial 46%
Borderline 22%
Histrionic 38%
Narcissistic 78%
Avoidant 22%
Dependent 22%
Obsessive-Compulsive 26%
Mary: pfft. I clicked out. That means I have to bloody retake it.
Mary: Lawl. You're cocky.
Mary: I'm OCD.
Peter: im still amused
Peter: that i have lower than average scores for everything
Peter: and then BAM 78 narcissistic
Mary:
Paranoid 82%
Schizoid 62%
Shizotypal 54%
Antisocial 50%
Borderline 62%
Histrionic 42%
Narcissistic 42%
Avoidant 26%
Dependent 58%
Obsessive-Compulsive 78%
Mary: I'M NOT NORMAL
Mary: MY PARANOID SCALE WENT UP
Mary: ON THE SECOND ROUND
Mary: WTF
Peter: IT'S THE GOVERNMENT
Mary: ...
Peter: THEY'RE MANIPULATING THE WEBSITE RESULTS

well?

11:36:57 PM Peter Gamboa: is she coming clubbing with us?
11:37:13 PM Nathan Tamayo: she's not 21?
11:37:19 PM Peter Gamboa: ...
11:37:30 PM Peter Gamboa: PEDOPHILE
11:37:39 PM Nathan Tamayo: and?
11:37:51 PM Peter Gamboa: no, that's it
11:37:53 PM Peter Gamboa: that's all i got

The taste of FAIL

Nathan: peter
Nathan: peter
Nathan: what does fail taste like?
Peter: your balls
Nathan: lol
Nathan: well played
Peter: :D
Nathan: but the better play
Nathan: the one i was hoping for
Nathan: was
Nathan: "fat and alcohol"

Mary: O.O
Peter: ooohhh, i think someone dun got called out
Mary:
(1:25:55 AM) _mt.: FAIL TASTES LIKE FAT AND ALCOHOL HUH
(1:25:59 AM) _mt.: ::PUNCH::
(1:26:06 AM) N8: <3<3

May 24, 2008, a day that will go down in infamy?

[18:34] uchikomaplatinum: my knee and my hernia hurt
[18:34] uchikomaplatinum: am i getting old
[18:35] momzilla523: I'm weirded out by the knee
[18:35] uchikomaplatinum: because it still hurts?
[18:35] momzilla523: but the hernia is normal
[18:35] uchikomaplatinum: i dont know what to do about it
[19:00] momzilla523: wen did the knee start?
[19:09] uchikomaplatinum: Jennie-Catching Saturday
[19:14] momzilla523: LoL
[19:14] momzilla523: give it time

methamphetamines

[17:10] cigarette water: (auto-response from cigarettewater) CRANKY PILLS CRANKY CRANKY CRANKY CRANK THAT YIP SUPERMAN WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT LIKE A FIREHOOOOOOSE MY GRILL AND HOME SKILLET GAS BARBECUUUUUUUUUUE

LIKE A FIREHOSE

Peter: so what's your plan for the weekend?
Peter: i hear good things about chloroform
Nathan: try to get to the city without dying
Nathan: try to park without dying
Nathan: try to interact with stacy without dying
Nathan: go home
Nathan: die
Peter: ...
Peter: can i have your stuff?
Nathan: fuck that i'm jizzing on it all first
Nathan: before you say it
Nathan: i know
Peter: ...do you have some lysol with your stuff?
Nathan: it's not much of a deterrent
Nathan: I'M JIZZING ON THAT TOO
Peter: that's a lot of jizz
Peter: with refractory periods, i'm thinking that's several hours of masturbation
Peter: you might need to account for that in your plans
Nathan: yeah i'm planning on dying on sunday at midnight
Peter: SKEET SKEET LIKE A FIREHOSE

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

[16:14] uchikomaplatinum: you girlfriend has lost it
[16:14] oczPeter: what?
[16:14] oczPeter: the game?

[16:14] uchikomaplatinum:

[16:07] uchikomaplatinum: lemme know

[16:07] uchikomaplatinum: if i had a choice i'd ratehr see Stacy

[16:07] cigarette water: Like I said, I'll have a definite answer to you by Thursday.

[16:07] uchikomaplatinum: priorities

[16:07] cigarette water: Right.

[16:07] uchikomaplatinum: np

[16:07] cigarette water: HIT THAT YIP SHIT

[16:07] uchikomaplatinum: lol

[16:07] cigarette water: MAKE THAT YIP YIP

[16:07] cigarette water: IN PLEASURE

[16:07] uchikomaplatinum: lol

[16:10] uchikomaplatinum: do i want mexican or pizza

[16:13] cigarette water: Mexican.

[16:14] cigarette water: YIP YIP YIP OUT YOUR ASS IN TANDEM TO YOUR PENIS AS YOU PUMP THE YIP OUT OF THAT YIP

[16:14] cigarette water: WANT SOME YIPPED CREEEEEAAAM

[16:15] oczPeter: PASTED AT THE SAME TIME
[16:15] oczPeter: and you don't want mexican
[16:15] oczPeter: you want SEXICAN
[16:15] oczPeter: ARRIBA, ARRIBA, AYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
[16:18] uchikomaplatinum: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE
[16:19] oczPeter: i have issues because i look like the mac kid

Bottom

Peter: http://www.motifake.com/index.php?start=7475
Nathan: bottom one
Peter: i prefer top, tbh
Nathan: i see
Peter: NATHAN'S A BOTTOM
Peter: BLOGGED
Nathan: ...
Nathan: for the right woman
Nathan: anything
Peter: ...

Soylent Sandwich

[19:46] uchikomaplatinum: Do you like Thai food?

[19:46] Kat & Charlie: yeah

[19:46] Kat & Charlie: why?

[19:46] uchikomaplatinum: Hahaha. I just had to ask. Sorry, sorry.

[19:47] uchikomaplatinum: Oh look, your sister is on. I get to ask again.

[19:47] uchikomaplatinum: Bwahaha

[19:47] Kat & Charlie: have you ever been to Thai sandwiches? it's HEKKA good!

[19:47] Kat & Charlie: [charlie wrote that]

[19:47] uchikomaplatinum: No, I haven't you'll have to take me.

[19:47] uchikomaplatinum: It's a date.

[19:48] Kat & Charlie: I think it's better that Kat takes you there

[19:48] uchikomaplatinum: nono

[19:48] uchikomaplatinum: You asked.

[19:48] uchikomaplatinum: You take.

[19:48] Kat & Charlie: since she knows it a lot better than I do

[19:49] uchikomaplatinum: Kat make him take me.

[19:56] uchikomaplatinum: Oh, so I try to go out on a date with your boyfriend and you stop speaking to me!

[19:59] Kat & Charlie: lol

[19:59] Kat & Charlie: he stopped talking to you

[19:59] Kat & Charlie: not me

[19:59] Kat & Charlie: haha

[19:59] uchikomaplatinum: So where is this Thai Sandwich place?

[19:59] Kat & Charlie: davis

[20:00] Kat & Charlie: so come up here and visit 1752 drew circle apt # 203 and ask for the only thing living in there and that thing should be able to make you something to eat

[20:01] uchikomaplatinum: I.. I don't know if that sounds like a good idea...

[20:01] Kat & Charlie: lol

[20:01] Kat & Charlie: why's that ?

[20:01] uchikomaplatinum: ...did you read what you sent me!?

[20:01] Kat & Charlie: he wrote that

[20:02] uchikomaplatinum: I'm going to get murdered and made into a sandwich, aren't I?

[20:02] Kat & Charlie: if that's what you order then sure

[20:03] uchikomaplatinum: what kind of messed up restaraunt is that!?

[20:04] Kat & Charlie: LOL

[20:04] Kat & Charlie: charlie wrote that

[20:04] uchikomaplatinum: i know

[20:04] Kat & Charlie: haha

[20:04] Kat & Charlie: okayy...it's not what you think

[20:04] Kat & Charlie: of course you're not gonna get murdered

[20:04] Kat & Charlie: HAHA

[20:04] Kat & Charlie: you're so funny

[20:05] Kat & Charlie: i literally LOLed when i read that

[20:05] Kat & Charlie: haha

[20:06] uchikomaplatinum: You think it's funny now, until I end up in your sandwich!

[20:06] uchikomaplatinum: Fine, next time I'm visiting Davis I'll try it out

[20:06] uchikomaplatinum: then complain about how my sandwich was too salty.

[20:27] Kat & Charlie: lol

[20:27] Kat & Charlie: why would it be salty?

[20:27] uchikomaplatinum: Because it's made of people.

[20:27] Kat & Charlie: lol

[20:27] Kat & Charlie: it's not!

[20:28] Kat & Charlie: i promise!